Now I’m finding joy
In remembering and being reminded
Of so many events, episodes and scenes
To which she brought happiness, imagination and optimism,
To our children especially,
Whom she graced with a constructive outlook
And the capacity for productive action.
From tributes and notes of consolation from dear friends,
It becomes more clear than I could have imagined
How much she contributed to others
And that her supply of good will, good sense, and love
Was unlimited
Lynn passed
Earlier this October.
Emptiness, nearness to tears,
Sadness not only from her passing
But from years of slow decline
With its turbulent start
And rapid conclusion.
I never knew how
To bring her happiness.
Yet there were moments
When our eyes met
When we saw together
Moments that often brought mutual joy
Moments sharing the pain and the inevitability of her condition
Moments when no sharing occurred
More of these as time wore on.
.
Her smile,
Amused, bemused;
Her gaze,
Penetrating, loving;
Her demeanor,
Independent, relating;
Her stance,
Always strong.
Accomplished artist:
Works in silver, gold, and metal,
Painting, drawing, and thought.
Nurturing challenging mother
Of three marvelous and accomplished daughters;
Amazing life-partner
To me.
I never came to know her completely
As there was always more:
Depth, humanity, forgiveness, surprise
In Cambridge again,
The blissful presence of the lake
Now accessible through memory alone.
My surroundings now, even empty,
Are full of what they might contain
Implied by how they are designed for that containment.
Roads, sidewalks, buildings,
The trappings that make their roles possible,
Wires, signs, signals
And groups of people
Police, city officials, property owners
Designating and constraining use
And shaping meaning.
The lake’s limitless horizons
The mountains, boulders
And even the small rocks
Are revelatory of the forces
Beyond our control
That brought about them—and us.
But those forces have too limited a presence
In our lives here in the city.
On reflection one can sense
What underlies the urban artifact:
The waterways, the topography,
Insistent outcroppings of rock
Slopes impossible to inhabit,
But also its strategic location
In the larger landscape
And ultimately the kinds and qualities of lives
It affords and the roles it can play.
At best there could be a melding
Of nature and intent,
Where the city could inspire,
Beyond the necessary purposes it must fulfill,
A more profound way to build on
Nature’s forces, strength, and beauty
While enabling the gathering of people and lives
To reach even more satisfying
Levels of achievement
And ways of being.
Aaltoe's Blog 